On this episode of the Encourage Mindset Podcast, host Ethan Van De Hey welcomes Chandler Lyles for a raw conversation about a topic most leaders avoid: criticism. Chandler does not sugarcoat leadership. He tells Ethan straight out that leadership should suck if you are doing it right — and a huge part of doing it right is learning how to take criticism from the very people you are trying to lead and help.
Watch the Full Episode with Chandler Lyles
Leadership Should Suck If You Are Doing It Right
Chandler Lyles opens the conversation with a statement that sets the tone for the entire episode: leadership should suck if you are doing it right. He tells people this all the time, and on this podcast he explains exactly what he means. Real leadership is not about being admired or comfortable. It is about taking on the weight of other people’s growth, navigating conflict, and absorbing criticism without letting it destroy you.
Chandler describes the paradox of caring leadership — when you genuinely try to help someone and lead them toward growth, they do not always respond with gratitude. Sometimes they push back. Sometimes they criticize you. And learning how to process that criticism without becoming defensive or disengaged is one of the most important skills a leader can develop.
Turning Criticism Into Fuel
The central message of this episode is that criticism does not have to be destructive — it can be an advantage. Chandler breaks down how he has learned to evaluate criticism objectively rather than emotionally. Not all criticism is valid, but the criticism that comes from people you are trying to lead often contains real information about how you are showing up, what you are missing, and where you need to grow.
Chandler encourages leaders to separate the emotional sting of criticism from the informational content. The sting fades. The information, if you are honest enough to absorb it, can transform how you lead. He and Ethan discuss specific scenarios where criticism that initially felt like an attack turned out to be the exact feedback needed to become a better leader.
The Cost of Caring Leadership
Chandler is honest about the cost of leadership that cares. When you invest in people, you are emotionally exposed. You put yourself in a position to be hurt, misunderstood, and criticized by the very people you are trying to help. Many leaders protect themselves by staying distant and transactional — but Chandler argues that distant leadership produces distant results. The leaders who create the deepest impact are the ones willing to absorb the cost of genuine care.
Why This Episode Matters
Chandler Lyles’s conversation with Ethan Van De Hey is for any leader who has been knocked down by criticism and wondered if it was worth it. Chandler’s answer is unequivocal: yes, it is worth it — but only if you learn to use the criticism as a tool rather than treating it as a wound. If you want to lead at a level that actually changes lives, prepare for the discomfort. It means you are doing it right.
Connect with the Encourage Mindset Podcast
The Encourage Mindset Podcast is hosted by Ethan Van De Hey and brings together leaders, entrepreneurs, and high-performers who share their real stories and strategies for growth. Subscribe on YouTube to catch every new episode.
Related Episodes You Might Enjoy
If you enjoyed this conversation, check out these related episodes from the Encourage Mindset Podcast:
- Matt LeBris: Turn Failure into Fuel for Success
- Chip Baker: You’re Not Broken, You’re Building
- Andrew Wolfram: Innovation and Forward Thinking
This episode is also featured in: