Jamar Jones grew up on the wrong side of town in Rockford, Illinois, earned a basketball scholarship to college, and went on to build Foureva Media into a brand that has worked with companies like BMW and Red Bull. In this episode of the Encourage Mindset Podcast, Jamar sits down with host Ethan Van De Hey to share the philosophy behind his book Change Your Circle, Change Your Life — and why the people around you determine where you end up.
Watch the Full Episode with Jamar Jones
From Rockford to the National Stage
Jamar does not hide where he came from. He grew up in Rockford, Illinois, in a neighborhood that did not exactly set kids up for success. Basketball became his way out — he earned a full scholarship to play in college, and that opportunity opened doors he never expected. But Jamar is quick to point out that it was not just talent that got him there. It was the people he chose to surround himself with, even early on, that shaped his trajectory.
After college, Jamar channeled that same drive into entrepreneurship. He founded Foureva Media and built it into a branding and media company that has partnered with major names like BMW and Red Bull. He also made history as the first African-American small business owner to rent out a sports arena for a business conference — the Lead the Movement event, which brought together entrepreneurs and leaders from across the country.
The Five People Exercise
At the heart of Jamar’s philosophy is a practical exercise he walks listeners through during the episode. He asks people to write down their top ten closest relationships — the people they spend the most time with. Next to each name, he wants you to note how you met that person: was it through school, an introduction, an activity, work? Then comes the real work: label each person as a positive or negative influence in your life.
Jamar also encourages people to write down each person’s approximate salary and then average the numbers. The results, he says, are almost always eye-opening. The concept is rooted in the well-known idea that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with, but Jamar makes it concrete and actionable rather than leaving it as an abstract motivational quote. If you put yourself around five millionaires, he tells Ethan, you are going to end up being that sixth one.
Cutting Off the Energy Vampires
One of the most vivid parts of the conversation is when Jamar talks about energy vampires — the people in your life who constantly drain your time, attention, and motivation. He describes the feeling of seeing a certain name pop up on your phone and immediately feeling your energy drop. Those are the relationships, he says, that you have to start weaning out of your life.
Jamar is honest about how hard this is. He found that many of the people who struggle most with changing their circle are people-pleasers. They cannot say no. They jump to help everyone who asks, even when it comes at the cost of their own goals and wellbeing. His advice is direct: you have to choose yourself first. That is not selfish — it is the only way to create the space for real growth and to eventually help others from a position of strength.
Life Is Not Fair — Even Out the Odds
Jamar dedicates an entire chapter of his book to a blunt truth: life is not fair, and you have to even out the odds yourself. He pushes back against the mindset of victimhood — the tendency to say things like this keeps happening to me or why am I stuck in this spot. His argument is that if you keep doing the same few things, in the same wrong environments, with the same wrong people, the results will never change. You have to do more and do it differently to shift the odds in your favor.
This is not toxic positivity or blind optimism. Jamar acknowledges that the starting line is not the same for everyone. But his message is that complaining about unfairness does not change anything — taking deliberate, strategic action does.
Learning to Communicate Across Circles
Jamar shares a personal story from early in his career about a boss who took credit for his ideas. It was frustrating and felt deeply unfair, but looking back, he sees it as a turning point. That experience forced him to learn how to communicate more effectively, how to present ideas in a way that protected his contributions, and how to navigate different communication styles across different environments.
Changing your circle, he explains, is not just about cutting people off. It is also about learning how to show up differently in the circles you want to be part of. Whether it is a boardroom, a networking event, or a podcast interview, the way you communicate determines whether doors open or stay closed.
Self-Awareness Before It Is Too Late
Toward the end of the episode, Jamar and Ethan get into a deeper conversation about self-awareness. Jamar shares his concern about people who go through life on autopilot — stuck in the same routines year after year without ever asking whether they are actually becoming who they want to be. The scary part, he says, is when you blink and suddenly you are seventy years old and realize you never really understood yourself or where you were going.
His encouragement to listeners is to start the work now, no matter how uncomfortable it feels. Break the routines, audit your relationships, and get honest about what you actually want. The possibilities, Jamar says, are absolutely endless once you make that choice.
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Related Episodes You Might Enjoy
If you enjoyed this conversation, check out these related episodes from the Encourage Mindset Podcast:
- Angie Lion: Is Compassion Really the Key to a Better Mindset?
- Dr. Lucy Johnson: Small Wins, Big Results
- Randi Lynn Quigley: Empowerment and Self-Discovery